Oh...Canada?
by genmasho
Summary: Canada...The country no one really...knows about. Or wants to, for that matter. But what happends when Duo and Quatre, kind of...wander it's streets? Well, if Heero's pineapple problem isn't going to go away soon some ones gonna get...disturbed. R&R!


**Disclaimer** I don't get the point of disclaimers; it's not like anyone's gonna say that they own GW or anything, and it's not like one of the actual owners is going to write a fanfic…But, to be all nice and not have festering socks knock down my door, all I have to say is: "I don't own Gundam Wing, damnit!!"  
  
A/n: Yep, another try at my humorous side of my brain*. And yes, it's in script form again, but hey! What's the point if…uh…yeah! Minor language.  
  
*Not sold in stores.  
  
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**In…some country…in some distant place that is seemingly impossible to find yet can easily be accessed in seconds by the G-boys**  
  
Quatre: ::wearing an overcoat and sunglasses:: You… ::looks both ways:: …got the stuff?  
  
Antonio: ::wearing a cheap stripped suit with hat and cigar:: Ye'ah boss, we gots da stuff.  
  
Quatre: Good…good…We allll like the 'stuff'….  
  
Antonio: Ye'ah boss…That we's do, that we's do boss.  
  
Quatre: ::insane cackling, heard through out the abandoned alley they're in:: AAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!  
  
**In…some other other country…in some distant place other than the above mentioned. A.k.a. Canada**  
  
::Duo and Quatre are walking around the "busy" streets of Canada…doing…things::  
  
Duo: Oh! Looky Quatre! Looky at the red leafs! Looky how they w…wa…waavvee… ::becomes mesmerized by the "waving red leafs"::  
  
Quatre: ::sighs:: Duo, how many times do I have to tell you? Those 'wavey red leafs' are Canada's flag symbols!  
  
Duo: ::drool::  
  
Quatre:: ::slowly backing away:: I knew I should have never brought him…  
  
Duo: ::snaps back to reality, and then starts to walk over to the descending Quatre:: Wait Quatre! I still don't know what a "canada" is!  
  
Quatre: ::shakes head:: You're…too young Duo. Just follow me and don't get too much drool on yourself whenever you see a…wavey…leaf, ok?  
  
Duo: ::puts hands in pockets:: Oh ok…if I have to…  
  
Mysterious Voice from Duo's overly large puffy pants: ::eeps:: Touch not that spot long haired man!  
  
Duo: ::looks down at pants:: Oh! Wupps! Sorry…I…forgot about your little, uh, problem…  
  
Mysterious Voice from Duo's overly large puffy pants: SILENCE! Speak not of problems shall you long haired man!!  
  
Duo: As long as, well, Martha doesn't come back…::flashback appears::  
  
::quick close-up of Trowa's glaring eyes::  
  
Trowa: …Damnit Martha…  
  
::end flashback::  
  
Duo: Man, mister uni-bang's gotta stop with that whole…Martha…thing, man. ::looks up and notices that Quatre is way ahead of him::  
  
Duo: Hey Quatre!! Wait for me man!! ::runs after him::  
  
**Somewhere in Tahiti**  
  
Heero: So you're saying that this particular pineapple will suit my…needs?  
  
Fat jolly guy who Heero's talking to: Little man, I here guarantee that that pineapple is the finest, beautiful, and most beautiful pineapple you evah seen!  
  
Heero: That's all fine and dandy, but…will it…  
  
Fat Jolly Guy: Oh no mah boy, this here pineapple ain't evah gonna do that to you.  
  
Heero: …Good…Then I'll take 395,143,345,274,865,444,793 tenths of it, packed in a handmade, classic 1930's maple wood chest with gold hinges, and some little breath mints on the side.  
  
Fat Jolly Guy: ::stares:: Uh…Hows about just takin' the whole thing?  
  
Heero: …That'll do too.  
  
**Goes back to ::screeching car tires:: Canada!! ::bum bum bum::  
  
Duo: So what you're saying is that this "canada" is really…a…country?  
  
Quatre: Yes, Duo, that's what I'm saying.  
  
Duo: But…If there's only 5 continents and 12 states, then, how does "Canada" fit in?  
  
Quatre: ::blinks:: Uh…Duo…  
  
Duo: ::continues on:: And if you take out Britain, that makes- no wait, that's not it…Oh! If you take out France then that makes it only 4 continents, and- no wait, that's not it either. Um, hey Quatre, do you think I should get the "It's OK to be Small" or the "I'm with Stupid" shirt? ::holds up two shirts::  
  
Quatre: ::stares/lost and confused:: U…um….Duo?  
  
Duo: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees? ::eyes start fluttering::  
  
Quatre: …What did you just say?  
  
Duo: 'Should I get the 'It's OK to be Small' or the 'I'm with Stupid' shirt?'  
  
Quatre: No, I mean't before that…what'd you say?  
  
Duo: I didn't say anything before that man.  
  
Quatre: …But…  
  
Duo: Ok! Fine, fine, fine…If you're going to take THAT tone with me young man than I GUESS I'll tell you!!  
  
Quatre: ::stare::  
  
Duo: RETRO PANTS!!  
  
Quatre: OK, that's it, I'm leaving ::dashes out the door::  
  
Duo: ::smirks:: heh…heh…heh…::rips off mask, revealing it to be Dorothy::  
  
Dorothy: Yes! FINALLY I can take over Canada without any interruptions! AHAHAHA!! ::starts to pet eyebrows::  
  
Dorothy's Eyebrows: But remember kids, only take drugs on Tuesdays, so that the many grandparents will sleep at their cans.  
  
Dorothy: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
**Quatre running through the streets of Canada holding his box of butter**  
  
Quatre: Oh box of butter, whatever shall I do? Sir Duo has gone insane and I am but a lonely servant girl with my box of butter!  
  
Box of butter: ::squeaky high voice:: It's Ok, my hairy legged friend. It's not our fault that Mother ran away with the chickens…  
  
Quatre: OH WHY, WHY MOTHER?!  
  
**Some old-peoples home near London**  
  
Grandma Poe: Darn these cans!  
  
**…back to Heero, now in Russia**  
  
Heero: ::in some Russian bar on the stage dressed in a pink cowboy outfit:: What a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty fine maaannnn!!  
  
**…once again changing the scene to Wufei in a ditch**  
  
Wufei: Hey, this was the only way I could appear in the story!  
  
Random audience member: In a ditch?  
  
Wufei: ::points to Random audience member:: Silence you!  
  
**Suddenly goes to wherever Trowa is**  
  
Trowa: …Damnit Martha…  
  
**Goes to-  
  
::Connan O'brien suddenly pops up::  
  
Connan: Ok, would ya QUIT with the sudden scene changing?! It's giving me SUCH a headache!  
  
Martha Stewart: Am I this "Martha" everyone's been talking about? And tune in next week to learn how to make your pathetic life be as perfect as mine! ::smiles and tooth glints::  
  
Random Fat Lady: AHHHH SHADDAP!!  
  
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Mysterious Voice from Duo's overly large puffy pants: Is this end for our long haired man and his queer friends? Will "Martha" ever be revealed? Will blabber that I be doing end up being a lead into next chapter?  
  
Author: Yeah, probably.  
  
Mysterious Voice from Duo's overly large puffy pants: …Darnit.  
  
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A/n: Yeah ok, even I admit that this chapter was a tad bit…strange… But yes! I will continue it! So stay tuned folks… 


End file.
